A Letter to Santa!

Last two days ago, I went to Hamleys, a toy store, situated at Regent Street. I feel very envy with kids these days. The toys get more hi-tech and outrageous, but seriously, some of them make you wonder who the heck comes up with these ideas? To be honest, I have thought of worse, as I am sure some of you have as well! I have do some research about inappropriate toys at The Huffington Post and I would like to share the information with readers.

Let’s pretend that we are a 7-years old kid and writing a Christmas whishlist to Santa Clause. (Just for fun).

Dear Santa,

How are you? I hope you are in a pink of health. You should have been on a diet because Jillian Michaels says carrying an extra bags around is bad for health. If it is hard to drop your bags, you should try to participate in a reality show called The Biggest Loser.

I have been a good boy for this year. For Christmas 2010, I have made a list of toys that I want you to get me and I would be the luckiest kid on earth if receive it. Daddy always makes lists to help him remember stuff, but he loses the lists anyway so I hope you will not lose my list or I will be sad and I know your job is to make kids happy. There are many toys on my list because Mummy tolds me that it is good to have choices in case things did not work. She said that especially when she argue with Daddy.

Okay, so here is my list:

5- Pole Dancer Doll.

Miley Cyrus

I love Miley Cyrus so much. Last year, Mummy already bought me a Hannah Montana doll but recently I watch Teen Choice Awards and this doll reminds me of her performance that night. I heard that this doll has already been banned in the United States and Asia, but I think they still sell it in the United Kingdom. Other way is, you can also buy this at eBay. I heard this doll cause a controversy because of the image of a pole dancer, which is not good for kids to follow. I promise, I won’t be a pole dancer when I grow up.

4- Baby Wee Wee

This wet doll is really cute. I want to have a little brother but Daddy says Mummy is too old to get pregnant again. May be this doll can be my little baby brother. This doll is made by the Spanish toy company called Famosa. The doll was sold in the United Kingdom for about GBP40 a couple years ago, but appears to be purely an eBay item now.

3- Phallus Slide

This slide looks colourful and cool. The shape of the slide looks like errr.. Nevermind, Mummy says it is not good to think about negative stuff. I always dream to have my own slide but Daddy asks me to play slide at playground. I hate to go to the playground because all of my neighbours didn’t like to be friend with me and they always bully me. If only I have my own cool slide like Phallus Slide, all of them will come to my house and treat me good. I’m not sure where you can get this slide, but there is one slide exactly like this at Pedo Park in Spain.

2- Bebe Gloton

Mummy always says, being a mother is really a tough work so I want to see how hard it is. This is a toy doll that simulates breast-feeding. I saw Aunt Marry breast-fed my 6 months cousin Ben. I know I am a boy but I really want to experience on how to breast-feed. You can purchase this doll at any toy store but in case you can’t find it, some people sell them on eBay.

1- Shave the Baby

This doll is on my first list because when I grow up, I want to be a hair stylist. I can dress people’s hair and make them look pretty. Playing with this doll is a first step for me to reach my ambition. This doll is a product from China. I’m sure you can get this at Chinatown.

I hope you can get me one of these toys for my present. It is OK if you can’t choose which one to give me. Sometimes, if I can’t make up my mind between two things, I get both. Mr. Santa, I want to say thank you in advance. By the way, Mummy says Hi and Daddy says Oh Jesus!

Love;

Zamie

P/S: This year we will give you oatmeal cookies because they are healthy and the only cookies Daddy can eat. But I will borrow some chocolate chip ones from my eldest sister and hide them in my stocking for you.

Credits to Youtube, The Huffington Post and Caveman Circus for the videos and images used here.